Will NOT Work for Food!

How can he do this! How can he toy with me in such a cruel way! Just out of reach, that little capsule filled with delicious sweetness that tastes just like the yummy milk Muh gives to me. He thinks I will just crawl straight to that little capsule. NO! I will not work for food! I forced him to feed me. I cried and screamed. Give me that bottle! I will not show you my growing strength and special skills. Never!

Soon his methods will backfire. I strengthen my legs during his torture time. I pull my legs up and push down with my feet, inching forward. Soon I will be crawling speedily out of his dungeon, like a little scurrying cockroach. As soon as he sits back down into his big swirly chair, I will time my escape with perfection. Already I have learned to roll, flipping to my tummy, then flipping to my back, over and over again until I reach something hanging down for me to grab. I am very careful not to do it when he is looking. He shouts out, “Hey! How did you get way over there?!” HAH! Silly big man, how do you think??! He thinks I am immobile. He thinks a strong wind carries me across the room. HAH! Today I travelled to the bottom of the bed and looked underneath, hoping there was a trap door hidden there. Nothing!

Woo Hoo, check out what I can do!

Later I learned to balance the capsule on my left arm. I’m still not sure what I can do with that new skill. But I can also fling it very far. I’m enjoying playing fetch with that big silly man. Here boy, get the bottle. Good boy!! ha ha ha

Hmmm… I betcha I could McGyver a bomb out of this….

 

Teeth!

I’ve got teeth!! Hah! And that doctor lady said I didn’t. What does she know?! I wish I could go back to her and bite her, I’ll show her my no teeth mouth! Now I REALLY like to bite the man’s knuckles. I wonder why he doesn’t let me much anymore

 

Perfecting Puke

I’m finding great pleasure in perfecting my puke attack. As a dragon belches flame and smoke from its belly at will, I, The Man, can instantly eject a stream of caustic liquid from my mouth and cause women and men alike to jump and shriek and run for cover. I find great delight in it. I usually wait until I have brand new clothes on, or after they’ve bathed themselves. Then I put a blank stare on my face, making them do silly things to me like bounce me up and down and say “where’s your smile???!!” He he…I’ll show you my smile, just get a leeetle bit closer…. and when they finally are foolish enough to get close to my face, attack!!! Ha ha ha ha Oh what joy it is!! The shrieks and groans. Watching them scramble for extra towels and wipes, use that blasted bib around my neck that I just can’t stand. Serves them right! he he. I tear at that thing all the time. And usually once I get my way and they finally take it off, attack!!! Ha ha ha

Today I saw the blonde man! He was there today with the screaming men in black. Who were THOSE guys??!! Singing some crazy eye yiy yeye muchos bu muchos bamisko blah blah musisito ugh it drove me absolutely NUTS!! THEY WOULD NOT STOP! EYE YIEYE YEYE??!! I SCREAMED UNTIL THEY STOPPED!! Oh how I hated that! I think my ears actually bled. Then they put on some big crazy straw hat on my head. Well, that was kinda funny, but ohh the singing. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeh, the blonde man. He knows where RJ is! I saw this same man last time I saw RJ. Who is he??!! He was holding RJ, not today, the other day. He must know where RJ is. Where is he??!! I should have puked on him, maybe he would have told me. NOW I think of it! Rats

I must find RJ!

 

Puke Haiku

#1
I lift up my head

Oops I spit up a little

I rest my head down

—————————————-
#2
I puked a little

What do I do now I thought?

I guess I just stay

—————————————-
#3
I puked a little

Unable to move away

It is not so bad

—————————————-
#4
I spit up a lil

On my blanket as I lay

Now my face is wet

—————————————-

 

The Grab

Today he was holding me in his lap. I’m not sure why he and the woman are so big and I am so small. But they were eating something that looked very creamy and yummy. It was different colors and I could smell the cream in their bowls as they ate with their spoons. Why are they eating this delicacy without serving me? Why am I on his lap? Is this some other sick torture method? I must have some I thought.

I gazed and judged the distance. They will never see my lightening fast hand flash through the sky. No one will suspect that I have the power and precision to grab his bowl and devour his bowl of frozen cream. I saw my chance, like the gates of heaven opening wide. I think I heard angels sing at the very moment my hand darted forward.

Got it!!!

Ohhhh

no

I can’t move the bowl.

I freeze. I look down, pretending I’m asleep. I can’t release the bowl, I’m so close. I can taste the creaminess through my nose. Maybe I can will it into my mouth. Maybe I’ll just sit here..

He grabs my hand and whisks me away and gives me more bouncing torture. I laugh, next time giant! I’ll have it next time! My hand was fast like the tongue of a lizard, no? ha ha. bounce bounce bounce bounce..

Later the woman gave me something she uses in her hand to spread ink on paper. I’m not sure why she did, but I felt compelled to try to beat her with it. I also felt a sudden urge to shove it in my mouth. The woman started laughing and took away the ink instrument. That made me very angry!

 

Documents Found – Name Identified

Much has happened since I first gained consciousness here. There is much to tell you. There is much to make sense of..

Today I was tortured. He interrogated me but his methods were crude and laughable. I in fact laughed in his face. This may have been a mistake, since his attempts at torture grew more intense. HAH It felt like mere tickles. He bounced me on a giant green cushy thing, I believe it is what they sleep on. He kept asking me the whereabouts of the Potato Sack Boys. If I knew, I surely would never tell him. I must find them..

..I awoke silently, gaining my awareness of my surroundings. I am the perfect Jungle Commando. My eyes grew wide as I perused the room I was in, tick tock tick tock my body swayed, my body stiff and motionless, not to arouse any awareness to myself. I saw the woman, she is very beautiful. She feeds me well. I have grown to have a very deep liking to her, I am not sure why. I call her muh, and when I do she smiles. That always makes me smile too. I see him too. He saw that I awoke and alerted the woman. I sat still motionless. Perhaps they will think I am part of this tick tocking chair..

..later that very day the woman sat with me looking at pictures. She said “Grease. I didn’t know she went to Grease”. Where is Grease?? Who went to Grease? Is this were the Boys are??

I have lost contact with the Potato Sack Boys. I do not remember much. I remember seeing both RJ and ED over the last several weeks, both at different times on separate occasions. They seem to have been taken away to a location unknown to me. I will find them. I must. Or perhaps, I will just continue eating my hand.

Mr. Man.